


When You Say Goodbye

by StarWinning



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: 5am, A Study in Ichor, Alternate Universe - Victorian, F/M, Slow Burn, it was perfect shipping fodder how do you expect me to not write a fic about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26326813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarWinning/pseuds/StarWinning
Summary: I quite enjoyed A Study in Ichor and wrote a bit of a continuation, that's set 6 years after the last episode.Yeah, I flourish at the prospect of some Victorian era 5am hurt/comfort.
Relationships: Sam Yao/Runner Five, Sam Yao/Worker Five
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

There was a sharp clatter followed by a thundering crash that had Phil and Five dug their heads as he guided her to his office. Now the shop was suspiciously quiet.

“We bought a new steam powered printing press to increase the number of papers we can print in a day. It’s a great machine really, but it seems to be a bit – let’s call it temperamental. It’s the fourth time this has happened today. I’ll be with you in a second – just gotta take care of this monstrosity first.”

“Wouldn’t be the first one you took down.” Phil gave her a pat on the back and disappeared between the rows and rows of paper, machines and ink the warehouse walls were lined with.

Five reached Phil’s small office over a set of wooden stairs and hung her coat over a chair. Issues of the evening’s newspapers were spread out all over his desk. Always on the lookout for a new angle, she realised with a smile. Five picked up one of the papers and browsed through the headlines. She enjoyed visiting The Inquirer’s office and the way it was abuzz with words and stories. She had Sam and Zoe to thank for that. Now wherever she went, there were new stories to discover and they had granted her the power to decipher them – it was almost magical.

Following the news of the day were the society pages. She smirked at the sight of a very familiar face. Sam had left quite the impression on England’s high society with his kind heart and boyish charm. It made his quite modern – some might even have called it socialist- ideas about welfare and education a lot easier digestible for more than one Lord or Lady.

The paper speculated whether they would finally receive word of an engagement announcement between him and a certain Alice Dempsey on the night of a charity collection they were supposed to open next week. News like these had become quite a regular occurrence – it wouldn’t even have been the first marriage proposal Sam had gotten. Afterall, it was a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of wife. So far however, Sam had been much too busy with improving people’s lives that he would even have paid attention to any such offer.

Five shook her head, closed the paper and opened another one. In the background she heard Phil argue with one of his foremen who had run out of ideas on how to fix the machine. The foreman had come to the conclusion that the new machine must be possessed to break down this many times in a single day and refused to touch it.

Five found two more articles in two different newspapers, both marvelling at the prospect of Sam finally settling down and tying the knot. She folded her arms in front of her chest and walked towards the editorial office. The layout for The Inquirer’s morning issue had already been prepared and was ready to go to print over night. She furrowed her brows at the sight of one of the headlines. Even The Inquirer had joined the speculation.

As the editor, Phil paid meticulous attention to printing only articles they had solid proof for. Had Sam talked to Phil? Did he mention something to him, he’d deem unfit to tell her? Over the past 6 years they had spend together there was nothing he hadn’t shared with her. Well, as far as she knew. Now that she thought about it, Sam had been on several outings with Ms. Dempsey. They had been seen at galleries, dances, even just walking through Hyde Park set the newspapers bustling. Five had to admit that they would make a great match. Alice was beautiful and like Sam very determined to use her father’s money to do the right thing. Sam would have to be positively mad to not accept such an offer.

A burning sensation bubbled up in her stomach as she walked back into Phil’s office, skimming through the last couple of papers she hadn’t checked. They all had similar stories. If it had been just one article, she would’ve let it slide as gossip. No. Even if all of them had a feature about Sam and Alice she still would have ignored them. With The Inquirer among them, that became a lot more difficult.

It felt like the floor had been pulled out from under her feet. What was wrong with her? It wasn’t her place to judge what Sam could or could not do. They were friends. Best friends. Well, some considered her more of a charity project after he took her in and made her his associate but their opinions never mattered. Neither to her nor to him. Especially not to him.

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, so she closed them to collect herself. The words she had just read seemed engraved onto her eyelids and echoed in her head despite the noise coming from the freshly restarted printing press. Closing her eyes made her feel more nauseous than before so, she opened her eyes again. Without thinking she fished the page containing Sam’s photograph out of the stack of paper, folded it and stuffed it into one of the inner pockets of her waistcoat. She mumbled a quick apology when she bumped into Phil on the stairs and hurried towards the door.

Phil watched her for a moment and entered his office. His glance fell upon Five’s coat which he picked up and hurried back out, but the worker was already gone.

She leaned against the heavy wooden entrance doors to catch her breath. The thought of Sam marrying anybody else had never occurred to her. Part of her had simply assumed it would be the two of them forever. She raised her head, thinking. Part of the phrasing sounded odd. Anybody _else_? Her heart stumbled over the realisation. Oh no. Oh no no no no. That could not be happening. She would ruin everything! Ruin their friendship and his new relationship!

Behind her the door opened. It was shift change at the office and most of the workers looked at her with certain disgruntlement when she almost fell backwards into their arms. Five pulled her cap deep into her face and disappeared into the still busy Fleet Street. Her ears were ringing with the articles words so she picked up the pace in the hopes of leaving their words behind her. She almost knocked over people left and right in her desperate attempt to get away from all of this. The people churning up other peoples lifes for a quick penny, the words in her head and most of all her feelings.

She fell into a jog, then a sprint, further and further into Central London until even St. Paul’s Cathedral was barely distinguishable in the muddy London dusk. Her thighs and lungs began to burn. She opened her mouth in a desperate attempt to fill them with air but all that came out was a sob. She pressed her hand over her mouth and continued to run. Outrun her mind that kept replaying the last hour over and over again: Had there been something in Phil’s manner that could have given her a hint? Did she miss something? Sam had been the same as always when they took their breakfast this morning, hadn’t he?! She shook her head, angry at herself. If only she could breathe!

The streets around Covent Garden were sp crowded with theatre visitors, she had to slow down eventually. Again, she felt tears sting in her eyes and pushed her way through the crowds. She hated this side of London! Why did London have to be so full of people?! She mustn’t stand still. She had to keep going! A roar of thunder and a sudden downpour finally brought her the relief she needed as the people around her hurried into the closest buildings.

By the time she had reached the upper-class townhouses of Mayfair, barely anyone was outside. The few people that did dare to go out in this weather hurried past her, acting like they didn’t even see her. And why would they?! They probably saw little more than a stable boy in her – completely soaked and not even wearing a coat. In an area like this someone like her meant nothing but trouble.

Only once she disappeared into Hyde Park, she slowed down to a walk again, then stopped, unsure what to do next. Without thinking, she had almost made it back towards their beautiful Kensington home. Would she even have a home after Sam’s engagement? Sam was much to kind to tell her to leave. He had assured her time and time again that her place was by his side. She had reached a cast-iron bridge, leaned her arms on the balustrade and buried her head in them.

She was convinced she could live with the fact that Sam didn’t see her the way she saw him. What she couldn’t live with was losing her closest friend. So she would have to bloody pull herself together.

She remembered the first time she had held his hand. They had only known each other for little more than the blink of an eye and yet she knew in that moment, that she never wanted to let go.

But maybe that time had come.

At the realisation, her fingers clawed into the tweet fabric of her cap and an icy fist held her heart captive. There was no going back, only one way forward. If she had the strength to take it to the end, she did not know, but what else could she do other than to run. In the distance a bell tolled 9.

Five thought she’d stayed out long enough, snuck in quietly enough. She had even made sure to leave her boots at the back door and walk in on her bare feet, but she had made her calculation without their stout housekeeper, Mrs. Smith.

“And who’d you think is going to clean up this mess?! Look at you! You’re leaving puddles everywhere!”, the resolute woman remarked.

“I’ll take care of it in the morning”, Five answered in a quiet voice and wanted to move along.

“You turn around and look me in the eyes when you speak to me! And take off that cap! Only a lady gets to wear her hat inside. Are you finally planning on becoming one?”

Five winced visibly. That woman had a way with words - each of them a direct hit. Anybody else would have let this slide. Anybody else she could have lied to. But not Mrs. Smith. That woman had a seventh sense for this kind of things. Or maybe it was just the instinct that came with being a mother - not that Five would know anything about that. Five did as she was told and took of her cap. She took a long glance at the ceiling, hoping it would prevent any tears from falling. With very little success as it turned out. While still forming the thought, the first tears had started to roll down her cheek.

Mrs. Smith took in the whole picture: Despite wearing a man’s clothing what was standing in front of her was a young woman of four and twenty, her right sleeve bloody and torn, her left side slightly caked in mud when she took a corner to rashly. No, what was in front of her was a scared girl, looking up at her with trembling lips and tears streaming down her face. Whether her fists were balled together in anger or fear, she did not know yet.

“Did someone hurt you?” Mrs. Smith’s voice was completely different now. Warm and calm. Full of concern. Five slowly shook her head.

“Were you robbed?”

Again, she shook her head no, but the tears just wouldn’t stop.

“Then, what happened?”

Five opened her mouth, but instead of an answer, all that came out were sobs. Five wrapped her arms around her body tightly as a violent shiver ran through her body. That aching sensation from earlier had gripped her heart so tightly it almost made her stomach turn. Mrs. Smith took a step closer and rested her hands on Five’s. Five looked down to them. They were almost scorching against her cool, damp closing. She was surprised that the woman’s strong and weathered hands were able to hold her so gently. Mrs. Smith’s voice sounded so far away when she told her that she was safe and nobody would hurt her here.

“But I’ll need you to talk to me, if I’m supposed to help you.”

Five swallowed hard before making a second attempt at an answer. Her throat was dry, reducing her voice to little more than a raspy whisper: “He’s going to marry her, isn’t he?”

There it was. The thought she had been scared to fully form over the last couple of hours finally came out. Five forced herself to smile when she looked up from Mrs. Smith’s hands. It was what a friend should do she reasoned to herself, but her tears and the unbearable pain in her chest that threatened to choke her betrayed her.

“You poor, foolish thing…”, Mrs. Smith said in a calm voice and pulled Five to her chest. At first, Five wanted to protest, push the older woman away. She wanted to be fine. She had to be fine! If she gave into it, she would admit everything. Admit that Sam meant so much more to her and it would destroy everything. And yet, she held onto Mrs. Smith for dear life and the woman let her wail and weep until her sobs were nothing but hiccups.

“Go upstairs and change. I’ll get you a bowl of hot soup.”, Mrs. Smith said finally.

“But what about the mess?”, Five asked, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand.

“I’ll take care of it.”, she answered and turned around, “You better not be standing there when I get back.”

Five turned towards the stairs as quickly and quietly as she could. For the second time this evening, with very little success. As soon as she’d made it to the top and turned towards her room a door behind her swung open.

“Five! Where have you been?!”

Her shoulders sank at the sound of the voice she knew so well. So soft and full of concern, it let all of her convictions crumble in a matter of seconds.

“Phil was here more than 2 hours ago to bring back your coat! I- I was worried about you”, he took a closer look, “And you’re soaked!”

“I apologise,” Five started without turning around. The moment he knew she had been crying he would beg her to confide in him. She could hardly do that now, could she?!

“I got caught in the rain and had to wait it out. Not very successfully, I recon”, she quipped but her voice sounded hollow, “If you will excuse me, I’d like to change”, she added opened the door to her room and disappeared.

Inside, she slowly sank down to cower on the thick carpet. She didn’t hear any steps hasten towards her door, which was good. She didn’t hear Sam’s door close either, which was not. Of course, he had worried about her. The thought made her feel even worse. She didn’t want to worry him. She didn’t want him to think of her at all. If he would just forget about her - that would make everything so much easier!

Sniffling she opened the buttons of her waistecoat again and fished out the page she took earlier. She got up walked towards her dresser and flattened the piece of paper out. She only dared to take a last quick glance at Sam’s likeness before she let it disappear into the upmost drawer of her wardrobe.

“Mrs. Smith! What happened?”, she heard an agitated Sam through her doors. She had changed out of her wet clothes and into a nightgown and wrapped herself up into a cosy dressing gown, she’d usually wear during the winter months. Sam had given it to her for Christmas. Their first Christmas – they’d stayed up almost all night as Sam read A Christmas Carol to her. It was the night they had decided to collect books and build their own library. It turned out to be a successful venture like so many of Sam’s plans. Almost all the wall high shelves in the reading room were filled. Another memory that stung. 

And there were the steps in front of her door she had expected. Sam had followed their housekeeper, bombarding her with questions.

“Nothing a bowl of soup and a strong cuppa wouldn’t cure.”

“So she’s alright?”

“She will be. Just needs some rest”, the woman answered, “And so do you! You have an early day tomorrow, Master Yao. Personally, I wouldn’t mind to turn in for the night as well so I bid you good night.” With those words she opened the door and closed it right behind her without giving Sam a chance to protest.

The two women stood there in silence, waiting for the sound of Sam’s door being shut.

“I apologise”, Five whispered.

“Nothing to apologise for. Get into bed and drink this”, she said, placing a tray in front of the young woman.

Five followed her order and took the cup from her. Mrs. Smith rested her hand on her forehead, then cupped the workers cheek in her hand.

“You’re not running a fever. Maybe you’ll get away with it – you’re young and strong.”

She stood there unusually quiet for a moment and watched as Five started eating her soup.

“So, what are you going to do?”

Five thought for a moment, then put the spoon down.

“There’s not a lot I can do, can I? Should he decide to marry Alice, then I will be a good friend and be happy for him. We just started renovating a new school in the country side. Maybe I’ll move there for the time being – it’s definitely more practical than going back and forth. Onwards and upwards, right?”

She gave Mrs. Smith the same smile she had tried and failed at earlier. It was more to convince herself rather than the housekeeper, who probably saw through her façade anyways. At least her tears had dried up. Mrs. Smith gave her a long look and nodded slowly as she got up.

“Finish your soup.”, she said before closing the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title song: https://open.spotify.com/track/01eJF9SQXR5gqVMMlElMlS?si=ZLGa8gl-R-Sx0Yeh0hgBZQ
> 
> Say hi on tumblr: @anothermeansofprocrastination


	2. Chapter 2

She didn’t get away with it. Five woke up the next morning with a terrible itching in her throat and a distinct ache in her forehead that got increasingly worse when she moved. Her calves hadn't been this sore since she was forced to run on the workhouse's treadmills, the long sprint all the way from Fleet Street to Hyde Park taking its toll as well. At least she had today's trip to look forward to. They were supposed to inspect progress on the new school building outside of London – she loved getting out of the city's stank and she loved being on the train. Watching the countryside rattle by faster than she or a horse could ever run captivated her.

Sam greeted her immediately upon entering the dining room. The way he called out her name -worried but also relieved, filled her with guilt. He bombarded her with questions, emphasised how worried he'd been for her. She confirmed she was feeling quite alright – nothing a good, strong cup of tea wouldn’t cure, repeating Mrs. Smith's words on purpose. Yet, her body betrayed her. Sitting down in her chair, a sharp pain ran through her forehead. She bit her lip to stop herself from wincing in pain, hoping he hadn't noticed. He had been watching her like a hawk, looking for the slightest sign of discomfort, his forehead ever so slightly wrinkled with concern.

He waited for her to load a crumpet with butter and jam, then handed her the newspaper. Five's stomach sank at the sight of The London Inquirer’s morning issue and tried to convince herself, that there was nothing special about Sam handing her the paper. They’ve been having this very same ritual every day since she had learned to read. Sam knew how much she loved to read. That was all. And afterall, if there truly was something he had to tell her, he wouldn't be letting her find out through a newspaper, right? She took the paper from him and opened it. Barely any words stuck with her as she skimmed through the articles, recognising some of them from last night. She turned a page, then another one and prepared herself for what she was about to find. Except, the article wasn’t there. She looked at the page number, checked the headlines and turned the page once more until she had reached the end.

It wasn’t there.

It wasn’t there!

Five's heart raced, giddy with relief. What was wrong with her?! Getting upset over nothing. She glanced over to the other side of the table where Sam had picked up his novel again. He noticed her glance and smiled at her. He had smiled at her so many times before, but this morning she became so flustered, she couldn't hold his gaze. Sam picked up conversation about some of the articles, moved on from there to a new book he had bought and read a few passages to her. With her chin placed in her hand, she closed her eyes. She loved it, when Sam read to her. He created whole new worlds with his voice: In the past, it had calmed her after having nightmares, the silly voices he came up with had made her laugh and on more than one occasion, it had moved her to tears. When they had just moved in together, they used to spend nights in the library, wrapped up in their morning coats and blankets until Mrs. Smith shooed them to bed, so they'd get at least a few hours of sleep before starting their work day. 

The large pendulum clock to her right chimed 10 o'clock and brought her back to reality. If they wanted to catch the train at 10.30 from St. Pancras they’d have to get a wriggle on! Five jumped up and ran to get her boots and jacket, but Sam stopped her. Last night he had to reschedule the visit for Saturday because he was invited to lunch with Ms. Dempsey and her mother.

_Oh._

Five stopped dead in her tracks. There was the icy fist again, keeping a stern grip on her heart.

“I see.”, was all she could muster.

“I know you’ve been looking forward to it, I’m terribly sorry, Five. It's a bit of an urgent matter, I have to attend to. I know! how about we rent a room next time we’re there? Make it a weekend trip and get out of dreary, old London for a bit! It’s been ages since we’ve done something like that - gone on an adventure? I mean, it's just the English countryside but considering that our last adventure found us just outside our doorstep - maybe it's just the place to start. What do you say, you old hero, you?" 

She counted the ticking sounds of the clock, collecting herself before answering. He sounded so excited. Just a minute ago she'd have been over the moon at his idea, too. She had reached seven when she finally forced herself to answer: “Sounds wonderful. You've been invited to open a banquet on Saturday though, remember?”

Sam blinked in confusion, his high spirits clearly diminished.

“Yes. Yes, of course. Then the weekend after that?”, raising his tone ever so slightly, indicating his hopefulness.

“Done”, she whispered, then excused herself. She half ran up the stairs and down the hallway, hoping she’d be able to reach her room before her tears started falling. She had been so clear, so focused on what had to be done just last night and now she faltered at the smallest glimmer of hope! Who knew why the Inquirer hadn’t run the article – maybe it was just a simple layout issue and the article was better suited for the evening issue! It didn’t mean the engagement was off! When had she become so daft?! So soft?! Being gullible like that could have gotten her in serious trouble just a few years ago. She had to be smarter than this, now that she would be on her own again very soon.

She bent over her wash table and watched the circular waves her tears had elicited from the smooth surface of water. From somewhere deep inside, a sob rumbled through her body. Quickly, she clamped her hand over her mouth in case anyone might hear. She took three long breaths. Each time she exhaled, her breathing became steadier. Finally, she dapped a cloth into the bowl and patted the cold fabric along her eyes, preventing any kind of swelling that might elude to her crying. She found her boots in front of the bed. Mrs. Smith must have brought them upstairs while they were having breakfast. She had done her best to get the mud stains off, greased the leather and stuffed them with old newspaper, but when Five stepped inside, the soles were still so soaked, she could feel them squish with every step. Icy cold feet were one way to distract her from her aching heart, so she kept them on and informed Sam that she was heading to the office. See if they had any work for her.

“That’s great – we can share a coach then! You can drop me off in Mayfair and then maybe cross the Thames at Blackfriars or London Bridge – though to be honest, I’d prefer it if you crossed at London Bridge. Blackfriars seems shoddier each day. It is saying something when even I can tell. Or you could join us – I’ve been telling Alice so much about you, I'm sure she'd be delighted to finally meet you."

Five would have rather found herself crashing into the Thames or getting buried under a pile of rubble - but she couldn't give him that as an answer, could she? Instead she politely declined the invitation. When they sat down in the hansom, Sam told her about one of Alice's projects and how he wanted to incorporate some of her approaches in their work. Five admired his drive, but kept her gaze firmly out of the window, too afraid to be swept away by her emotions, if she looked at him for too long.

“Last chance? ”, Sam offered, opening the carriage door in front of a red-brick building and looked back at her.

“I don’t think this is the right place for me”, she said mustering the groups of young men and women, all of them properly dressed, entering and leaving the place. Sam looked puzzled by her choice of words, but couldn't inquire any further as a second, bigger carriage pulled up. While he gave the driver very specific instructions where and where not to cross the river, Five took the time to muster the two women that were now waiting for Sam. She recognised Alice Dempsey immediately. The photographs had prepared Five for how beautiful the young woman was. However, they couldn't have prepared her for a poise and demeanour that radiated confidence and will power. Like a force nothing in the world could stop.

And then there was Sam looking like a right Gentleman in his dapper little coat and top hat. Yeah, Alice and Sam were made for each other. Together they would move mountains. Five clamped her hands together to keep them from shaking.

“See you tonight then - sorry, didn’t mean to startle you!”, Sam said as he saw Five jump in her seat.

“It's fine. See you tonight.”

He flashed her another one of his warm smiles. The kind of smile that had opened him the hearts of so many strangers and yet managed to break hers. Just when he knocked on the carriage to signal the driver to leave, hers and Alice’s eyes met. Five froze, resorting to the only thing she could think of: she took off her cap and nodded which was reciprocated with a nod from the other woman. Five's head snapped into the backrest as the coach rumbled towards London's East End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I've updated and I'm happy to announce that I'm back! All of the chapters are finished - I'm just letting them simmer for the final proofreading. 🎉
> 
> If you want to say hi on tumblr, it's @anothermeansofprocrastination
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated! 🙏🙏🙏


	3. Chapter 3

From that moment on, every day went by in the same fashion: They sat in silence during their meals, they walked in silence and at night Five would immediately retire to her room. Whenever they got too close, she felt the dull pain in her chest well up again. She yearned for the old days when every meal, every second, was filled chatter and laughter. Now, all that was left were empty pleasantries and stolen glances.

Adding insult to injury, her health had declined rapidly as well. Every morning she woke up exhausted and had developed a mean cough. The first fit hit her during breakfast. Sam was by her side within a heartbeat, leaving a tipped over chair in his wake. She had pulled out a handkerchief, pressed it in front of her mouth with one hand and used the other one to gesture Sam that she was alright. That she just had a dry throat. That there was nothing to worry about. She needed to convince him as much as she needed to convince herself of that. But the coughing stayed and got more severe by the hour. Not even running brought her the kind of comfort it used to. Her lungs burned after just a short distance, causing her to slow down to a jog, then a walk and a crawl until she was able to catch her breath. On Saturday, after a night of going back and forth between being way too hot under her blankets and being startled awake by violent shivers after having thrown them away, she woke up in a cold sweat. Her lungs were stinging with every breath. Sprinkling her face with cold water brought her some relief, but anyone could tell from miles away, that she was unwell. Half a cup of tea was all she could stomach that morning.

Sam had already left to pick up some paper work at the office and was supposed to pick her up within the hour, so when the driver knocked she stood ready and dressed by the door, her collar put up and her cap pulled deep into her face. Sam opened the door from the inside when she approached and reached out his hand to help her in. Five stood in shock for a moment, but took his hand before he could ask any questions.

“You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to”, he said and smiled at her. Everything would be so much easier if only he wouldn't smile at her like that. The pain in her chest had gotten increasingly worse – almost convincing her that it wasn't all in her head. She was quick to get out of the coach at St. Pancras and waited for Sam to pay the driver. Without looking she started in the direction of the station, when a surprisingly strong pair of arms pulled her to the side.

“Five!”, Sam said, “If I hadn’t pulled you to the side, that horse and cart would have run you over!”, he thought for a moment, “Sounds familiar doesn't it?! You had to do this all the time when we just met", he quipped. Seriously though. Don’t you think it’d be better for me to take you home? Take a day off? I don’t think you’ve ever taken a day off, haven’t you? You really seem a bit under the weather.” He looked so worried. Of course he did. That was just the way he was. Kind and friendly, yet surprisingly resilient and so brave when he needed to be. Five avoided his gaze as she could feel tears well up in her eyes.

“We should hurry, if we want to catch the train…”, she said and freed herself from his hold, this time checking before crossing the road.

Sam walked at a moderate pace, yet Five had trouble keeping up with him. Her vision became blurry, she had to gasp for breath as more and more people walked by her and pushed between her and Sam. Maybe he had been right. Maybe she should have just let him take her home. She tried to reach out for him, get a hold of his coat, do something to make him turn around and notice. But the crowd had closed in on her. The world got darker and the bustling noises around her faded as she fell to the floor.

A sound made him turn around. Five was nowhere to be seen. Panic made him turn around from left to right, front and back looking frantically for his friend. Usually it was he who had trouble keeping up with her. Then suddenly, almost out of nowhere, she would appear next to him. He took a breath, stood in place. Nothing.

“Five?”, he called, hoping his voice would carry over the crowd, "Where are you?"

Someone in the crowd asked: “Oi, You alright there, lad?” Out of the corner of his eye he saw the familiar pattern of Five’s jacket. He had picked it out as a gift for her.

“Five!”, he yelled and shoved his way through the crowd.

“He with you, Sir?”

“Yes, that is my… my… What happened?!”

“No idea, Sir, ‘e just fell to the floor. The lad seems to be running a mighty high fever, Sir.”

Sam had pulled her into his lap and gently pushed her cap and fringe to the side. The man was right. Five was boiling, her hair wet with sweat, her breathing laboured and clearly audibly even over the sound of the busy station. He stroke her cheek and gently spoke her name, but Five wouldn’t wake up.

“C’mon, don’t do this to me, Five. Wake up, Five, please!”, he said, shaking her carefully and giving her slight pats on the cheek. She opened her eyes slowly, looked around unable to focus. The crowd around them had eased up, most people had moved on. Five’s eyes rested on Sam, who’s concern was plain as day.

“Hey! Hey, Five, there you are! God, I’m so glad you woke up”, he said pulling her to his chest. Five squirmed in his arms.

“We need to... ”she started and tried to ge to her feet but another dizzy spell forced her back to the ground. Sam caught her by the shoulder and pulled her up with him.

“Don’t worry about that now. ”, his voice had a tone she had rarely heard before. Warm and loving, and so very close to her ear, a shiver went down her spine, “It can wait for another day or two.” I wouldn’t risk loosing you over a slightly more expensive renovation. Not for all the money in the world, he added in his mind.

So he dragged Five back to the coach stand. She was barely able to stand on her feet. Even the resolve to fight her feelings had left her. She whispered that she was scared and let him pull her into his chest and wrap her in his cape. All she could do was focus on her breathing- raspy, shallow breaths- and held on to Sam for dear life. He talked her through it, telling her that everything would be alright. That he got her. When he ran out of encouraging words, he begann to describe everything that happened around them - like he was telling her a story. He was the type to talk even more when something awful was about to happen. She didn't remember how Sam managed to lift her into the carriage. She only remembered his arms being wrapped tightly around her. He had just started describing a group of elderly ladies strolling towards Regent's Park, when she lost consciousness again.

Upon arriving in front of their townhouse, Sam picked her up without hesitation and hurried inside. He told the driver to wait and that he shouldn’t worry about his compensation. Mrs. Smith was already hurrying towards him, alarmed by the clamour with which he had entered.

“Master Yao, what happened?!”

“It’s Five! I don’t know what to do! She fainted and she’s running a fever and she can’t breathe! What do I do? Tell me what to do, please, Mrs. Smith!”

Mrs. Smith looked at the woman and put her hand on Five’s cheek. “That foolish girl.”

“She’s not going to… Is she?! She can’t be, right, Mrs. Smith?! She was fine just a couple of days ago! It's not how any of this should work! It's not...”, Sam couldn’t help raising his voice in desperation. He wouldn’t let his mind wander even remotely close to that possibility. Five wouldn’t just leave him like this! He looked from Mrs. Smith back to Five in his arms. Her lips had started turning blue on the way. He pulled her closer to him as if to shield her from whatever was threatening her life.

“Are you listening, Master Yao?!” He came out of his stupor and looked at the housekeeper.

“I said we need to get her upstairs and into bed. Then have the driver take you to Chelsea and get one of the doctors from the hospital.”

“I’m not leaving her! What if I’m not even by her side if she... If she... Mrs. Smith, I can't leave her!”

Master Yao’s tone and the defiance with which he shook his head, reminded her of her youngest son. Arguing would be futile and waste precious time, she knew that. That damfool girl. Why didn’t she say something? Even if she didn’t want to tell the young master, she could have confided in her! She sighed.

“I’ll tell the driver myself and send one of the boys with him. At the very least, do make sure to pay him well when he gets back.”

“Of course”, and he was off to take Five to her room. When Mrs. Smith entered the bedroom, she found Sam sitting next to her on the bed, holding her hand. All of a sudden they had become so small, so vulnerable. Like the lost children. And what foolish children they were.

“Have her sit upright”, she said in an unusually calm voice.

“What?”

“Makes the breathing easier”, she explained,” I caught one of these terrible coughs myself a few years ago – before you hired me, Master Yao. Honestly didn’t think I would make it at some point. But this one? She’s strong. She’s a fighter, you hear me? Don’t ever lose faith in her. Not for a second.” Sam felt the warmth of her hand on his shoulder and nodded, never more grateful that he’d hired the women - despite her habit of rarely mincing her words.

Mrs. Smith had gathered all of the pillows she could find in Five’s room and stacked them up behind her back while Sam held her carefully in his arms and rested her against them. He had just loosened Five’s necktie when hoof clatter led him to look out the window. He placed it carelessly on the nightstand and ran down to meet the doctor and pay the driver as promised.

The doctor and Mrs. Smith had just started freeing Five of her jacket and waistcoat, when he returned.

“I’ll have to auscultate the patients lung, so you might want to wait outside, Master Yao."

“I want to help”, Sam said, his tone not leaving anyone to questions him.

Mrs. Smith raised an eyebrow,

“Very well then”,

Sam walked around the bed to stabilise Five, but when the doctor moved on to unbutton her dress shirt, he became nervous.

“Wh-What are you doing?”

“As I said, I’ll have to listen to the young ladies lungs which requires me to open her shirt.”

When her self constructed corsage came into view, he blushed and mumbled: “Mrs. Smith would you mind taking over?”

He turned around respectfully. Sam remembered Five spending endless nights with her needle work, modifying a corset in a matter that wouldn't inhibit her breathing but rather support her when she was running. He also remembered feeling mortified when she finally presented him with the result - wearing nothing but the corset and trousers.

“Master Yao, if you want to help: I’m most certain that the girl - Five you call her? – has pneumonia. Going forward I’ll need her to be kept your warmest romm. I’ll possibly have to let some of her blood, to release the pressure on her lungs. After that, if we could arrange for a hot bath for the patient – that would increase her chances tenfold.”

“I understand. We can arrange to keep the fire burning in here all night, can’t we, Mrs. Smith? I’ll go down and bring some more wood myself. What about the bath?”

“I already put on a kettle. Go down to the kitchen and ask the new girl if it’s already boiling. Grab one of my boys next, to help you carry the big tub upstairs – and tell him, if he’s not on his feet within seconds he’s in for a good whooping from me.”

“Yes Ma’am!”, Sam responded automatically and later wondered where that had come from.

Sam carried most of the water buckets upstairs himself. By the time he made the second trip, the blood letting seemed to have done its purpose and Five had opened her eyes again, huddled into her morning coat and a thick blanket. Relief rushed through his veins as he hurried downstairs for the next row of buckets. Halfway through the foyer on his way back up to Five’s room the door bell rang and he heard the page boy run towards the door, then announce a visitor for him. Sam tried to tell him that he really couldn’t be bothered right now, but the visitor had already made his way inside.

“Master Yao, I came here to discuss tonight’s dinner, but I seem to have picked a most inopportune time. I hope you don’t mind me intruding.”

“Mr. Dempsey, as a matter of fact…”,

Five heard Sam address the visitor downstairs before Mrs. Smith closed the door behind her. She had just placed two more empty buckets outside for refilling.

“C’mon now, love, you got more pressing issues to worry about”, the woman said, and helped Five unravel and step into the tub. Five wrapped her arms around her knees and let the warmth engulf her. For the first time in a week, she finally seemed to warm up completely. She threw a glance at the door and leaned back, staring at the ceiling.

“At this point there is nothing you can do. You said so yourself, right? So focus on your healing. No matter what the young master does, he’ll need you by his side.”

“I know.”, Five responded, her voice quiet and raspy. She sank further into the tub, until the water went over her lips.

“Don’t you even think about drowning yourself. You gave me enough of a scare for one day. All of us.” Five lifted her head just enough to signal Mrs. Smith that she had gotten the hint. The woman gave her a short nod then turned to get the missing buckets herself.

“I better find you in the same position when I come back”, she said and walked off.

In the entrance hall, the housekeeper heard her young master argue with the older men, but she had been working in this business for far too long to bother with eavesdropping. She shot the older man a look, grabbed the two buckets and walked back upstairs.

Sam had just explained what had happened and apologised himself as he didn’t think it’d be appropriate to leave the house tonight.

“I also apologise for any inconveniences my absence might cause and of course I’m willing to compensate you for them”, he added with a most respectful bow.

“Master Yao, certainly your housekeeper seems more than capable of taking care of your business associate. We prepared everything for the engagement!”

Sam stopped short before answering. The other man’s word had left a weird taste in his mouth. He almost felt offended. Five wasn’t just a business associate. Five was his friend. His first and best friend. Unconsciously, his hand wandered to his waist pocket where he kept his parent's watch. They had raised him better than to toss someone aside because they seemed inconvenient. Especially if that someone had walked through hell and back with him. Yes, Five was even more than a friend. She had become the family, he had lost just like he had become hers. In their own quiet ways they had filled the other one's life with love and trust.

Five was everything to him.

Everything?

Oh _. Oh._

He had tried to figure out what that nagging feeling was, ever since she had started to shut him out of her life. He needed to tell her.

“Mr. Dempsey, I think we misunderstood each other, so I am going to be very clear with you. I am an immense admirer of your daughters work, but just like I have discussed with your wife and Ms. Alice herself, I have no intention of marrying her. And as it turns out - neither has your daughter. I beg you to respect our wishes and must ask you to leave as I have urgent matters to attend!”

To underline his words he opened the front door with a force he didn’t think he had in him and closed it behind Alice's father before he could start to argue. Sam felt as light as a feather as he hurried upstairs and towards Five’s room.

“And where do you think you’re going?!”, Mrs. Smith shouted from across the hallway her arms full of towels.

“Mrs. Smith, there is something I just have to tell her.”

“Whatever it is, is not going to happen while Five is naked in a bloody bathtub!”, she hissed at him, causing him to blush violently. “ And look at you! Rather than skulking around in the hallway, you should be changing as well! I have enough on my hands with one of you sick!”

As long as he had been moving around he hadn’t noticed, how the fabric of his cream coloured dress shirt stuck to his sweaty chest and back. She threw one of the towels his way, which he took as a sign that the discussion was over.

After changing and towelling off his hair, he paced up and down in his room, trying to find a way to tell her what he himself just barely understood. Of course he had figured out she wasn’t feeling well. Had noticed that her walk had lost some of its spring and her delivery runs took her longer and longer each day. Had heard her cough through the nights even though she tried to muffle it. Nights, during which he had approached her room countless times, just to stand in front of her door, too afraid to knock. Too afraid to be pushed away again, by the only person he now knew he loved more than anyone.

In the end, he settled on writing her a letter like he had done on that very first night Five had stayed with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam was so lost in thought, he didn't notice how much time had passed. The fire in his room had long burned down and the gas lamp by his desk would run out soon as well. He listened for any noise, but the house was quiet. The letter in hand he left his room and knocked on her door. No reaction.

“Five, are you up?”, he asked in a low voice. Again, no reaction. He considered sliding the letter under the door like he used to.

No, he had been enough of a coward over the past couple of days. He waited for a moment, then opened the door. The room was dark, except for the shine of the fire and a lot warmer than the rest of the house – exactly as the doctor had recommended. He placed the shaded gas lamp on her nightstand and put the letter down next to it, making sure it would be the first thing she saw when she woke up. Carefully he pressed his hand on her forehead. Her skin was hot, but not nearly as boiling as it had been this morning. Relieved he walked over to the window. The curtains were drawn to keep even the slightest bit of draft out as best as they could and the fire would be fine for some more hours. On his way, his gaze fell on her tie that was still lying on her nightstand. He picked it up and walked over to her dresser. When he opened the top drawer though, he noticed a folded piece of paper. It was a page out of a society paper featuring a picture of him and Alice together with an entire article speculating when they were to announce their engagement.

It was dated 5 days ago. The day she came back drenched. The day Five had started to close herself off from him.

Everything fell into place. He against the wardrobe so his legs wouldn’t give in under him and noticed another piece of paper. Neatly folded and hidden away in the corner was the letter he had written her on the very first night they had met. There were countless such notes, pictures, article clippings of his – their- work over the years and she had kept all of them! Even the silliest ones in which he informed her about the best pasties he’s ever had. He placed everything carefully back to where he had found it and pulled a chair to her bedside, where he took one of Fives hands in his.

“Maybe uncle Ernest was right when he told me I was stupid. I am a real piece of work, aren’t I, Five? We both are, actually. I wish you had come to me, you know. You must have been so lonely these past couple of days.” He had been lonely for so many years while van Arc took care of him. He had gone through so much effort to avoid making anyone the way his uncle had made him, and yet he had been the cause of her suffering.

“What if something had happened to you?! What if your Pneumonia had gotten any worse and you had been all alone when you fainted?! All alone when you…”

Of course there was no answer. Only her laboured, but steady breath.

“I promise you, from now on I’ll keep you safe. All you have to do, is wake up. Can you do that for me? Please wake up, Five. Even... Even if our feelings shouldn't be mutual. Just don’t leave me without saying goodbye.” He placed a kiss on her hand and continued to watch her sleep.

It was still dark the next time he opened his eyes. The gaslight next to him gave off little more than a faint glimmer. How long had he been asleep? A shudder ran down his spine as he saw Five shivering in her sleep as well. Oh no. The fire. It had burned down almost completely causing the room to cool down. He quickly added some wood and waited for it to grow. Then he walked back to Five’s bedside, reached for her hand once more. It was ice-cold. He tucked her blankets tightly around her, but she just wouldn't stop shivering. Panic welled up in his stomach again. He considered waking up Mrs. Smith for advice, just as an idea started to form in the back of his mind - Sam slipped under the blanket with her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Five soon relaxed into his chest, mumbling, but never quite waking up. His heart was racing long after Five had stopped shivering, all those strange new feelings on his minds. With the bed warming up around them, and finally lying down in a comfortable bed, Sam felt the exhaustion of the day creep up on him. He just wanted to rest his eyes. Just for a short moment. Before he could even finished that thought, he had fallen into a deep slumber.

Sam wasn’t the only one worried about his companion though. Sleep just wouldn't find Mrs. Smith that night, so she got up to prepare a bedwarmer for the young woman. When she lifted the mattress to place the warmer underneath, she noticed that the weight had changed and she was barely able to lift it.

She looked up and almost dropped the hot coals on the floor.

“Jesus”, she muttered under her breath. The young master was the best employer she's ever had. She highly doubted she'd be able to find one like him ever again. But if those two didn’t figure out their feelings after tonight, she’d quit. She still had a couple of good years ahead of her and wouldn’t waste them by worrying about those two fools. She stuffed the metal pan under the matrass and left.


	5. Chapter 5

When Five woke up the next morning, she felt weak and exhausted. Her back and shoulders hurt and breathing still took as much effort as if someone had placed a stone on her chest.

“How are you feeling?”, she heard Sam muttering from behind her causing her to turn around with a start.

“What are you doing here?”, she whispered.

Sam sat up on his elbow, suddenly wide awake.

“I was worried about you! I thought… I thought I had lost you”, he continued his sentence in a much more quiet voice. A voice that sounded exactly as hurt as she was. There was the sting in her chest again. Worse than the pneumonia, shaking her to her core if she dwelled on it for too long.

“You won’t lose me. No matter what you do, I’ll always be by your side”, she whispered barely audible and rested a hand on his cheek. She examined his face carefully. He had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes and looked pale, like someone who hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep. Strands of his usually well kept hair were going in every direction. Even his shirt was buttoned up the wrong way.

“You look a mess”, she stated dryly.

“You wound me - and right back at you, Five.”

She liked that cheeky tone of his a lot better. She also liked it when he flashed her his beautiful smile and responded in kind. It was almost as if things had gone back to how they used to be. A moment so intimate, that she wanted to run her fingers through his hair and drown in his eyes. A coughing fit shook her back to reality. Sam wanted to sit up with her, hold her but she gestured to him that she didn’t need his help. So he sat and waited for the fit to pass and pulled the blanket back over their shoulders the moment Five laid back down and intertwined their fingers. Five let her thumb run over his index finger and noticed how rough his hands were.

“Were you with me all day?”, she asked carefully, keeping her gaze on their hands.

“Whenever Mrs. Smith would let me, yes”, he responded, quietly.

Five chuckled. That good woman probably deserved a medal by the end of this.

“Oh, and just so you know: I’ll continue to do so, until you’re better. Don’t even try to argue.”

“I’m not trying to argue, but I really don’t think you should be here. I’d think it’s highly inappropriate given circumstances”, she added and pulled her hand out of his. After all this time, it was time to let go.

“I don’t think I understand? It’s not like anyone would care?”

“With your engagement, I think a lot of people would care”, she blurted out regretting her words immediately. Another sting straight into her heart.

“My dear Five”, he started and lifted her head with a soft expression, “I must admit, that I admire Miss Dempsey’s work and enjoyed learning from her experience, but there has never been any such talk between her and me.”

Five was utterly confused.

“But I saw the articles? Even the Inquirer wrote about it!”

“That’s why Phil called on you. To send them to me for first hand information so to speak. Told me, it wasn’t very polite he had to learn of event this big from 10 different newspapers – if I ever wanted to get married, he’d have expected at least an exclusive feature. After saving the world together and everything.”

Five pressed her palms against her eyes until she saw stars. She had been so stupid. 

“He and I spoke that night. They never ran the article. It was nothing but hear-say fuelled by Alice’s father’s ambitions. When I met her earlier this week, I learnt that she didn't have an idea of her father’s plan either. He’s been keen on making arrangements to marry her off for some time. Alice however is absolutely not. She'd rather proceed running her father's business herself than handing it off to some oaf. I'd like to make very clear though that she did not refer to me as the oaf in question , but rather, that there is someone else who has been on my mind for a very long time.”

Five let her hands sink and focussed on the tiny light dots that flickered before her eyes.

“I see”, she whispered. Maybe if she was just lying as flat and still as possible, there was a chance the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

“Over the last week I learned a lot about myself. Actually, most of it I only figured out last night, but you know, how they say better late than never, right?

Five, I learned, that I don’t want to spend even a single moment without you going forward. I cannot imagine what I would have done, had I lost you last night. I know that there are more appropriate ways to handle this, but under the current circumstances, this is the best I can do”, he took both of her hands in his before continuing, “Five, would you do me the honour of marrying me?”

Five turned her head towards him, her mind completely blank.

“Be serious!”

“I am”, he laughed, “I have hardly been more serious about anything in my life.”

Just this once, Five was grateful he had never learned how to hide his feelings – his expression was the confirmation she needed. She took his face in her hands, bend his head forward and placed a kiss on his forehead before Sam was able to say another thing.

“Does that mean…?”

“Yes”, she nodded to emphasise her words, at this point laughing and crying all at the same time.

"Oh, that's good! That's very good!" he said and pulled her back into his arms to bask in each other's warmth.

“Say, the doctor recommended to keep you out of drafty conditions for the next couple of weeks. So, I’ve been thinking, what if we took a trip? Britain isn’t really known for its stable weather conditions. I thought, maybe we could go to Italy? Spain? Wherever you would like to go.”

“You know we can’t do that. If you push constructions now, they’ll draw well into winter. You’d have to invest a lot more into coal to dry out the new walls which is money we could be saving for the next project.”

“Again you wound me. As the responsible business man I am, I have of course considered all aspects affecting our new life. I haven’t talked to her yet, but if her comments are anything to go by, I’d assume Ms. De Luca would be delighted to take over for a little while. She likes to say construction’s a lot more organised when I’m not around. Sometimes I wonder, if I should be taking offense in her words.”

Five chuckled and curled herself up against his side.

“Right here is good enough for me”, she mumbled with her eyes closed, “There is one thing though… Will you start reading to me again?”

“Anything.”, he whispered and placed a kiss on her cheekbone, then one a little bit lower closer to the corner of her mouth and hesitated a moment considering the next one. The view of Five’s lips made his heart flutter and he slowly leaned down to press his lips on hers. With a smack Five’s palms landed on his cheeks, locking his head in place.

“Not yet!”

Sam was in complete shock, his cheeks burning from the sudden smack.

“Wh- Why not?! Have you changed your mind?!”

“Of course not! It’s just that I don’t want you to get sick as well…”

“If I did, we would be able to spend all day in bed for the foreseeable future, which wouldn’t be entirely unpleasant?”

“Not being able to breathe however is. I beg you, to wait just a little while longer”

“Very well. A little while”, he mumbled into her hair, closed his eyes and pulled her down with her. Five let the steady raising of Sam’s chest lure her back to sleep, until he whispered: “Was that a little while?”

She giggled, drowsy with sleep: “No.”

“Pity.”

He waited another moment then asked again.

Five steadied herself on her elbow and crouched up to be on eyelevel with him. Hesitatingly she ran her hand through his hair. It was as soft as she had expected. As she met Sam's loving gaze, she could almost feel her heart burst with joy.

“I love you, Samuel Yao. So much.”

“I love you too, Five”, he whispered in a low, warm tone. Sam's hand wandered to rest on the small of her her back, gently lowering her down onto the mattress. Five’s hand wandered from his hair around his neck as he rested his forehead against his. She could feel his breath on her cheek, burying her nails in his sleeve as if to cling to consciousness as he brushed their noses together and then lowered his face to brush his lips against hers.

A sharp knock had the two of them jump apart as Mrs. Smith entered the room carrying a tray. Of course she had seen them. About time they pulled themselves together. She did have the grace to keep that remark to herself though.

“I brought your breakfast, Five”, she said and placed the tray on the nightstand,” Master Yao, do you wish me to bring up yours as well or would you like me to set it up downstairs as usual?”

Maybe she couldn’t keep her opinion entirely to herself.

“I…”, he started unsure what to do. He felt Five press his palm under the blanket and continued in a more confident tone, “I’d be much obliged if you brought my breakfast up as well, Mrs. Smith.”

“As you wish.”

Once the door was closed behind her, Mrs. Smith sighed and could hear the young woman laugh: “What are you getting all bashful for, now?! It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?!”

“I really don’t think this is a laughing matter! It’s different when it’s just the two us – stop it, Five, stop it!”

Her laughing only resounded louder through the closed door, followed by a surprised yelp and even more laughter from the both of them.

Mrs. Smith shook her head and walked downstairs, but even she was unable to hide her smile. Well, it looked like she would be spending some more years with the young couple.


	6. Epilogue

Zoe lifted one of her cats from the breakfast table to reach for the newest issue of the London Inquirer. Phil had advised her to look out for a certain engagement announcement - not that she needed to look for it for long with it being front and centre of the title page.

“Would you look at this, my love?”

In stepped Amelia, closing the last few buttons of her blouse and glanced over Zoe’s shoulder.

“Took them long enough”, was her business-like response.

“You have to admit though that love stories between two characters of differing social classes have always been compelling.”

“Not nearly as compelling as one about a dashing pickpocket and a writer in need of inspiration”, Amelia whispered in Zoe’s ear and placed a kiss on her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! That's all I've got! 
> 
> You've made it to the end, dear reader! If you're reading this, thanks so much for stopping by 😭😭😭💖


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